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~VanillaKnight

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Sat Jun 27, 2009, 10:22 PM
  • Mood: Tired
Vanilla's Secret Lab . . . Pixel Princess . . . Pixelate Coffee House . . . Queen of Colour . . . Twitter

ORLY? It's kinda weird...
I just realized that most of the people I ever talk to are an average of at least 19 years and up. Hah, now that I think about it, it feels a little weird.
Oh, and ~guiltatlast said something to me the other day that may or may not have been a small thing to her but it was like a huge slap in the face to me: "You're still really young and I think maybe you're expecting too much of yourself." It's surprising that I really don't think anyone has said that to me. People have said "Oh, you'll figure it out" or "You're only x age, so you're doing great for x age" but I honestly mentally push myself way to hard. The crazy thing is that I'm unwilling to cut myself some slack. I guess I'm just in a hurry to do something that makes me feel important. God, I want to be important so badly. But I'm just average right now. And if I keep going past my emotional limit like this, I'll stay average. I'm in a corner...

Life News
-reads old posts- Gosh, I talk about orgasms a lot. xD
Nothing much besides my random rambles on Twitter.
Oh, I'm leaving for California on Friday and I'll be gone for four days. Just so you know. Also, I finally got my first paycheck! (my dad didn't put in my SS stuff for a while so he just finally put it all on one) It's so painful to look at that Social Security and Medicare come out of my check. Statistics show I may never get Social Security and if I ever get Medicare, it'll never fully pay for what it needs to. So it's like throwing your money away really. I only truly hate Social Security because of how horrible the system is. It is REALLY bad. To the point where it's embarrassing.

For more updates on what I'm doing (I'll be posting this stuff less and less here) please visit my Twitter! Please, it's so lonely. ,_,

E-News
Should I post my novel(s) and stuff on a website? They're all WIPs. I don't think I'll post them on DA, but I have a website ready for them. What do you think? Do you want to read about Vanilla S. Knight's and Raphael Allegro's social, political, and mental problems for several hundred pages? Or Zililia Winebarrow's fight against her curse of vampirism and her struggles to maintain her developed bloodthirst that she hates herself so much for? Because those are the stories I'm working on ATM.

~specimen-f MADE ME SUCH A CUTE ICON OF OSTADAR! YAYAYAYAY!
:iconimhappyplz: :iconvanillaknight: :iconurhappyplz:

Art News
I'm pixelling Markus Vaughn! -shot-

Art Feature of the Moment
Diligent Doctor 1 by ~the-good-times
FUCK YEAH SEAKING!

Sisters
:iconcat-the-rawr: :iconethica-xx: :iconalexschocolatebanana: :iconpricelesstruth: :icononexlonleyxangel: :icondeijii:

IRL Friends
:icondingomutt: :iconoukamiyoukai45: :icongoldendragon93: :icondead-animal-gurl-13: :iconsorimimi: :iconaizenisgod: :iconyoko-yakumo:

Some Cool Kids I Talk To
:icontherailwaytrain: :iconabzdragon: :iconmouldycat: :iconsyaoranflame: :icontaryyn: :iconxuniap: :iconspecimen-f: :iconoh-my-stars: :iconmonica-ng:

Clubs
:iconpeach-club: :iconicon-lover: :icondollingclub: :iconuniteddragonsclub: :icondevsagainsttwilight: :iconcaduceus-hq:

I don't think I could live without LoZ (especially Link), TC (especially Derek Stiles and Markus Vaughn), TES (especially Morrowind and its soundtrack) pirates, watercolours, or my instruments. I am soooo geeky!

35 Comments

Devious Comments

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:icontherailwaytrain:
~therailwaytrain Jun 28, 2009, 1:46:49 AM
Ouch.
'...I guess I'm just in a hurry to do something that makes me feel important. God, I want to be important so badly...'
I feel the same way.
:iconoukamiyoukai45:
~oukamiyoukai45 Jun 28, 2009, 3:55:45 AM
I say if your really willing to push yourself go for it. don't let anyone tell you that you can't do it beacuse your only so old.
but keep it legal porfavor
:icondingomutt:
~DingoMutt Jun 28, 2009, 6:51:42 AM
Well, that's kinda the thing. If you don't feel that you're worth something, whether it's to your family, your business, your pets, then it might be kinda hard to feel really happy.
And I do think you should post your novels on the interwebs, I'm excited to read them. But if you're seriously considering publishing them, then keep them to yourself, aside from proofreaders and whatnot. C:

--
For the millionth time, I didn't steal the kid. e__e'
:icongoldendragon93:
~GoldenDragon93 Jun 28, 2009, 7:22:29 AM
It's good to push yourself alittle, just make sure you don't over do it. And if you ever get frustrated at what you're doing just leave it and go back to it later in a couple of hours. I do that all the time. Usualy when I'm stressed and frustrated, and I force myself to do something, my art never turns out the way I want it and then I'm mad at myself and I hate my art. That's probably whats happening with you, just stay relaxed when working on your art and I guarantee you'll be proud of it.

--
I'm not crazy...
:iconbrokenophelia:
*BrokenOphelia Jun 28, 2009, 7:49:31 AM
Pushing your self is good. People who try and convince you that it isnt good are lazy I think. If you didn't push yourself you would never ever accomplish anything. Even if what you accomplish is something small it always takes a lot of effort to do. I think it is a good ethic you have going on there. You age shouldn't make a difference. Seriously, if you want something you have to push for it. Look at like 14 year old kids who become internet millionaires. They had to push themselves for what they wanted. That fact your young has no bearing on whether you should reach for your aims or not.

--
I Can't See The Me That Everyone Can See
I See The Me That I Will Never Be
I'm Not So Strong
Or Willing To Be Weak
I Feel Misplaced
:iconsyaoranflame:
~syaoranflame Jun 28, 2009, 8:33:55 AM
I'm not 19 either. xD (3 years away) Hey, give yourself time to mature, and don't worry about age. You'll be doing important things in no time. (I bet you are right now and don't realize it!) <3

I'm eager to read your literature! (That's pretty important, in my opinion. >: )

I'll be reading your twitter whenever you post! :3 <33

--
"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. " ~Mark Twain"
:iconvanillaknight:
~VanillaKnight Jun 28, 2009, 11:37:02 AM
Hah, thanks and I guess I should start getting it up. xD
And thanks for reading my Twitter. o3o

--
"Two women with whips...That's my cue to shut up and act like a good boy..." ~ Phoenix Wright

If Link told me to jump off a mountaintop, I'd be on Mount Everest in no time. owo

Hablo un poco de espanol. :3

ಠ^ಠ
:iconvanillaknight:
~VanillaKnight Jun 28, 2009, 11:37:47 AM
In life it always seems like age really does matter and I guess I'm just trying to overcome that. Thanks for the support. :)

--
"Two women with whips...That's my cue to shut up and act like a good boy..." ~ Phoenix Wright

If Link told me to jump off a mountaintop, I'd be on Mount Everest in no time. owo

Hablo un poco de espanol. :3

ಠ^ಠ
:iconvanillaknight:
~VanillaKnight Jun 28, 2009, 11:38:35 AM
I'm not sure if the word "relaxed" is in my vocabulary, lol. I'm always so stressed. ,_, But I'll try to calm down.

--
"Two women with whips...That's my cue to shut up and act like a good boy..." ~ Phoenix Wright

If Link told me to jump off a mountaintop, I'd be on Mount Everest in no time. owo

Hablo un poco de espanol. :3

ಠ^ಠ
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